After years and years of struggle, equality is finally being considered to some extent. In human history, this present decade has brought various changes when it comes to gender equality. Be it legalising LGBT+ marriages, abortion rights, and so on, things have changed.
But some uninvited opinions and inappropriateness toward fellow beings still persist. While most people voice out the injustice, especially when it comes to the issues women face, we do have to realise men also face similar problems. The only difference is that people rarely talk about it.
In this post, we will be discussing some of the common phrases men often hear and are tired of. Let’s head on.
10 Things Men Are Tired of Hearing
“Man Up”
Just like femininity, the masculinity concept is a codified pattern of behaviour that is beneficial to the oppressor. Men are always expected to show masculine traits like being able to carry heavy loads, dressing up in “men’s” clothes, being authoritative, and what not. Factually, men must be allowed to wear heels, earrings, and crop tops, and portray feminine traits irrespective of their sexuality. Moreover, telling a man to be a man when they identify as a man is itself a huge insult. Men deserve to live according to their terms and rules. After all, masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with gender.
“Men can do whatever they want!”
There has been a notion that men can do whatever they want without enduring any troubles. But is that really the truth? So, does this mean that men can live without paying taxes and evading policies? Clearly not. Just like other genders, men are free to do what they wish and will have to face the consequences if it’s inappropriate. It’s not like men can walk into the ladies’ restroom and exit without causing huge chaos.
Stating that all men are free and have the privilege of doing things without consequence is blasphemy. There are men out there sitting and weeping for the wrongs they haven’t even committed. So this phrase really needs to be cut out, as men have their restrictions like any other humans.
“Don’t cry like a girl!”
Firstly, this is sexist. Secondly, this is assimilation. Thirdly, this is subjugation. Mental health is a topic that needs to be normalized. Because most of the men from their childhood have been brought up with the rule to not cry. Being groomed by parents who do not believe that their son has a mental health issue just because he is a man would later cause him trauma. This bottled-up childhood trauma is why many men in the future turn out to be aggressive or, even worse, end up with major psychiatric disorders. Asking a man not to cry during a crisis is an injustice. Men deserve a good cry and a warm hug.
“Pink? Why Pink?”
Ever since colour was a concept of oppression, every human being has been suppressed. Coming away from skin-colour oppression, men are prone to another colour-based suppression. The colour pink is directly associated with girls, and if a boy wears something in pink, his sexuality gets instantly judged. Come on, we love couples flexing cute costumes in pink. We love men wearing a pink hoodie or a onesie. Why not? Young boys can play with Barbie dolls. Men can buy pink scooters. Men can wear pink-tinted sunglasses. Men can wear pink!
“All men think only about sex!”
Truth be told, sex is normal and essential. An American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, mentioned in his hierarchy of needs that sex is the most essential need. And so if a man thinks about sex, is that wrong? What really is wrong is when a man forces his sexual thoughts on someone. But do all men always do that?
It is true that men’s erections are definitely irrepressible, but that doesn’t mean they go around asking for them. Men also have the right to consent and must respect others’ consent. Affirming that men only think about sex repudiates their thoughts on goals, priorities, checklists, and relationships. Men are free to think about sex and also to think about every other concern. Even if they only think about it, what’s your deal when they don’t let it affect you or anyone else?
“Ladies First, Gents Second.”
Patriarchy and male chauvinism exist, yes. But that doesn’t mean we need to keep reiterating that ladies are first because that’s another type of chauvinism coming up. If on a bus, a pregnant woman and a disabled man have no place to sit, the pregnant lady is not the only person who deserves the seat. What matters here is people need to see how both people, irrespective of gender, require a seat due to their “condition.”
“How many girls have you hooked up with?”
Needless, extraneous and not your business. This question is usually posed to men because they are typically considered womanisers. Moreover, there is a concept that says if a man sleeps with many ladies, he is a “macho man.” This is not a compliment. Definitely not. Men have all the right to share their nights with whoever they wish with each other’s consent. Sexual relationships with an individual do not determine their personality. Men and women are free to share their moments. What annoys men is that most of them are often asked if they are good-looking. Since when did men’s beauty become a subject of sexual attraction?
“You’re still a virgin?”
Contrary to the previous phrase, this sentence is often exclaimed in astonishment. Not all men are ready to share their special moments anytime soon. This is a sick statement and is full of stereotypes. A man is regarded as immature and not educated in sex if he is a virgin. Hold up, virginity isn’t even a true concept. It’s a social construct—let’s get that straight. Men can choose to stay without having their first time even if they’re in their 40s. It is improper to ask any guy about it, and even if he opens up and says he hasn’t had it, never show your astonishment.
“Man should pay the bills”
He sees it, he likes it, he wants it, and he buys it. She sees it, she likes it, she wants it, but “he” buys it? Where is the equality here? Men have all the right to decide whether they want to pay entirely, split the bill, or simply let their partner make a move. Expecting men to always pay for dinner dates, theatre tickets, and gifts is wrong. On an evening date, if a man buys the movie tickets, a woman should buy the food. Equality starts where you are. Isn’t it terrible to know that only men are expected to earn and take care of their families? Most men wish to have income support from their partners as well. So don’t force a man to pay what someone else has to pay too.
“All men are rapists”
“All men are rapists, and that’s all they are. They rape us with their eyes, their laws, and their codes.” – Marilyn French.
Radical feminists strongly accuse all men of rape in all forms. Rape is not an easy word to use, and referring to all men as rapists is offensive. There are so many men who speak out against rape. This statement has no backing proof, like the concept of flat earth. In the news, we have seen multiple cases where women have falsely accused men of rape. When the truth comes out, does it really compensate for the shame and guilt the man who was arrested faced? It’s high time we understood that rape is a threat, and the threatening force is not just men. Factually, men also endure sexual violence; let’s get that straight, my friends.
Final thoughts
Men deserve warmth, love, acceptance and validation. Let us encourage men to live happy lives and acknowledge their feelings.
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